Sunday, 17 May 2015

Were we really prepared to be parents?

I sometimes wonder, who in this world really is prepared to be a parent. I am sure there are quite a few who are. I, I dont believe I was one of them. I never really liked kids, I found them an annoyance to be around. I still do. I do not like to go to the kids jungle gyms indoors and be amoung 100 screaming bouncy kids. When I became pregnant with my first daughter Abigail it was kind of like "Ok, I guess here we go". She came to me in June of 2010. I was a mom. I had no idea what to do with this little baby. I am so thankful for my mother as I just plain didnt know. Did you buy a bath Susan, washcloths? No, of course not. You have to bath these babies ;) With a little guidance I got it.




 Nobody prepares you for that surge of emotion you get when you have in your arms this little baby, whom is part of you, something you would do anything for, do anything to protect. I was not prepared for this. I sat in bed and cried, a lot. I was scared, scared of being a mom. I dont know what to do with this little baby. Post Partum Depression set it for a bit with me. I snapped out of it within a month. I didnt even know I had it until it was gone. Now dont get me wrong, I fell in love with both my babies instantly. But wow, what a change to your life.

 Being a mom is a big deal. You are the one to feed them their first year of their precious life. You are their safety, their love, their food. You are there everything. Was I prepared to have someone depend on me 24/7? Absolutely not. I felt saddened, like I had given up my freedom. I think I never spoke of it because it is sort of taboo to feel that way when you are a mom. You should be so in love with this little baby and overjoyed to have them take all your time. But really? Is this really how everyone feels? I somehow doubt it.



 Abigail is now 4 going on 5, so I have had time to adjust. I have accepted that my time is no longer mine however I dont pretend I dont miss when my time was all mine. We all joke about going to the bathroom and never alone because the kids are there staring at you or asking a million questions. But in truth, dont we all just want a little alone time? At least to pee? A shower alone without hearing screams on the other side of the door or knocking to get in?




 It is not easy being a parent. You go from having all the time in the world to do what you want to living around someone elses schedule. Your house is and will never be the same, toys will encroach every corner you can imagine. The laundry, my god the laundry. If you didnt like it before, prepare yourself for loads and loads never ending. We all love our children that is no doubt, but they change our lives.

 This past 5 years was not an easy run for me. It was a lot of ups and downs and the learning curve was huge. But here we are, almost 5 years later, down two bouts of post partum depression and two bouncy happy little girls. My life would not be the same without them, I would not be the same without them. As a mother, as any parent, I love them to the core. I would give my life for them.


But my dear little children, mommy wants a break, a break from the millionth time you said mommy, at least to pee!





 Do you feel me moms? Dads? I cant be alone here lol


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46 comments:

  1. Thanks for visiting my blog. Returning the favor. No, you are not alone and after raising three girls, I wish I could tell you the times will get easier. They will in some ways, but then new issues arise that will get you quoting all those quotes you posted. But, in the end, when they are gone (and yes, they will eventually leave the nest), you will look back and say, "where did the time go." You will actually at times, miss the noise, miss the wanting them in your space, even the laundry, yes the laundry. So, from one mommy to another, embrace this time, make sure you find time for YOU, alone, away from kiddos (no guilt here either) and love on them!

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    1. Thanks so much for reading :)

      I am doing my best to schedule alone time for my own sanity haha. Time does go by too fast. Very true.

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  2. Lol, great post. You sure brought back memories for me. I don't believe the things you describe ever leave. Once you give birth, you are a mother forever. I remember telling my daughter when she turned 16, that I had been tired for 16 years. I was so happy she would be able to drive herself and I could get some rest. However, I just stayed up worrying until she got home. I agree with Michelle, once they are gone you appreciate all of the moments that you will never experience again. Wanting to spend time alone is a natural thing. Take the opportunities when you can.

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. My girls are 2 & 4 so a ways yet, but time goes so fast soon they will be teens :( lol

      Thanks again :)

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  3. Ok I could have swore that I commented on this last night! But it was late and I was pretty wore out when my "reading time" rolled around. I am totally there with you girl. Parenthood can damn aggravating sometimes! Kids can be assholes, which in turn can create assholes out of we the parents! Thanks for sharing with #momstermondays! You rock my friend!

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    1. Hahahaa you encapsulate things so perfectly lol. Thanks for the comment :)

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  4. I'm with you - some days it can truly be overwhelming! There is only so much you can prepare yourself for!! #momstermondays

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    1. Yes I agree. So glad that the good outweighs the bad haha. Thanks so much for reading. :)

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  5. I was not prepared in the way I thought I was. It has been a true learning experience and as you say our lives would not be the same without our kids. I feel exactly the same.

    Angela xx

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    1. I am so glad you relate. I would sit and wonder, am I alone here with this? But great to know I am not and so many others feel it too

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  6. No one can be prepared for motherhood. We can have all the items we need but motherhood is tough not because we have to learn about babies/children but because of how it impacts us. The emotions of motherhood can be so contradictory. The learning and challenges are never ending. For me personally it is much less intensive as my kids have got older but there are still plenty of challenges. I wouldn't have it differently but I do want a break at times. Thanks for writing this. #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Thanks so much for reading this. I am so glad that the good times outweigh the bad ;) parenting is tough! I'm glad to know I am not the only one who wants a break :)

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  7. You are definitely not alone!! I don't know why more mums and dad's feel they can't say how they really feel, it would help so many new parents. It's bloody hardwork but thank goodness it's also so rewarding. Except for the laundry!!!!!!! #twinklytuesday

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    1. Hahaha yes the laundry will never be something good :) thanks so much for reading. I am so glad you can relate so I don't feel so alone :)

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  8. You are so not alone in this. Having children really turns your world upside down. I love them so much, but I'd love to have a bath in peace, or just for once be totally selfish and do whatever I wanted.

    It's hard because people go "it's so worth it" and "I wouldn't change it for the world" - of course bloody not, but it's still damn hard!

    x

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    1. I LOVED your comment. It is exactly how I feel. Absolutely wouldn't change it. But doesn't mean I wish for my own time sometimes. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. It makes me feel less alone on this :)

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  9. I thought I was ready as I have lots of experience with kids and really enjoy being around them but nope. I had no idea that I would have almost no time to myself. I love my baby but it is really hard. And there are lots of not fun parts. Lots and lots. Lucky for me so far the amazing parts outweigh the not great parts.

    #twinklytuesday

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    1. You said it right, thank goodness the good outweighs the bad for sure haha. Motherhood is great, but we all still wish for some time alone I am sure :)

      Thanks so much for reading

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  10. You are definitely not alone. I was like you....not very maternal. I still aren't really. I have a son, and I love him heaps, but I'm not what you call a 'kid' person.

    The killer really is no 'alone time' for yourself. It's very hard. xo

    #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. Yay I am so glad I am not alone!! Thanks so much for making this mama feel less alone on this subject :)

      Thanks so much for reading

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  11. Great post - I think you perfectly summed up how many parents must fee. Its a bit much when you can't even pee in peace! #twinklytuesdays
    Debbie
    www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Right? We just want to pee alone hahaha

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  12. Gosh I remember how clueless we were in the first few months, actually, probably 1st 12 months of our little girl - I sometimes inwardly shudder at some of my utter idiocy. But it's all part of the process. Thanks for sharing #twinklytuesday

    http://motherhoodtherealdeal.com/

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  13. Haha glad to know I am not the only one :)

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting

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  14. I hear ya! I definitely would not say I was prepared (even though we waited until we were married 5 years before having our first)! I don't think anyone is really prepared. Found you on #twinklytuesday. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment :) I am glad to know so many people relate

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  15. I get you. We all read in the books about that crazy love that you have when the baby come, I didn't feel that, I didn't know her. My love as a mother grown within months but I had to know her, I had to know what to love in her. Now I really cannot see my life without her.
    <3
    #TwinklyTuesday

    xx Marta

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    1. Thank you so much for reading. Life changes so much with children its amazing.

      I would be honoured for you to follow my blog. To follow see the top of my post. Thanks again for reading :)

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  16. I'm not a parent yet but I'm sure my mom would relate to all of this!

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    1. hehe I am sure she would. Thanks so much for reading my post.

      I would be honoured for you to follow my blog. To follow, please see the top of my blog post. Thanks again for reading :)

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  17. This is so familiar! I love my kiddos to distraction, but I would love to enjoy a wee bit of silence every now and again!

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    1. haha. Me too. I love them being around, I love them to death, however, just a little break for mommy. Please :)

      I would be honoured for you to follow my blog. To follow, please see the top of my blog post. Thanks again for reading :)

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  18. Oh you are definitely not alone! I remember those first nine months while I was off work and whilst I loved and would do anything for my little man, there were days when I was feeling like the weight of the world was on me with the responsibilities I suddenly had. Now I work again and I don't feel like this quite so much because the time I do get with him is very precious. That said, I know have to toil with the feeling that if I want to do something on a weekend, say like get my hair cut (which I haven't done for sooooo long), I feel guilty about spending that time away from him! So really it's swings and roundabouts! Do you know what I really miss though?? I really miss sitting on the sofa and reading a magazine from front to back cover in one sitting! I just don't get the time anymore! Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

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    1. I am overjoyed that people can relate. Makes you feel a little less lonely on the subject :) I miss sitting and reading too. The second you open a book or magazine they are on you like flies on .... haha.

      I would be honoured for you to follow my blog. To follow, please see the top of my blog post. Thanks again for reading :)

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  19. Nope. Not even a little bit prepared. Thankfully kids don't come with instruction manuals. Can you imagine what that thing would be like? 15,000 pages. Just on bath time.

    Thankfully, the bar for parents is pretty low. Is your kid alive? Yes. Is he doing anything that will actively cause him harm at this moment? No. Then you probably are doing OK.

    Thanks for posting.

    #themommylife

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    1. hahaha that would be a long manual. Your comment made me laugh and laugh.

      Thanks so much for stopping by. I would love if you stuck around to read some more and followed me :)

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  20. Grest post, I'm sure loads of people relate to this!

    Thanks so much for linking up to #toddlerapprovedtuesday this week x

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by. I would love if you stuck around to read some more and followed me :)

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  21. Love this! Thanks for sharing at the #HomeMattersParty - We hope to see you again soon! The door is OPEN!
    ~Lorelai
    Life With Lorelai

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    1. Thanks so much for stopping by. I would love if you stuck around to read some more and followed me :)

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  22. I wasn't ready, I went through a chemical pregnancy and then found out I wasn't actually pregnant and then I actually fell pregnant and it was like 'omg! I am so ready for this!' and then the time came where I was told I had to have a csection 4 weeks early and I wandered around the hospital ward in a daze crying 'I'm not ready', it was crazy.
    I was totally ready for my second though, once you go through the first kid it isn't so bad, I had learnt a lot since my first in the space of two years, I still have a lot to learn but I can 'deal' with my second a lot easier haha!
    Great blog post =]

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    1. Your comment gave me a good laugh over my lunch break. I love that you were in a daze crying. I can so relate. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment

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  23. You are most certainly not alone and if anyone tells you they were ready and prepared to be a mother they are lying. There is nothing that can prepare you for becoming a mother, no amount of reading, of time spent with babies, nothing. It is a steep learning curve for all of us. I have never been an emotional person but was overcome with emotion (and often still am). I am strong, but felt a failure in the face of the challenges that the first few weeks of motherhood presented. I am impatient, but my love for my son means that I seem to have a bucketload of patience all of a sudden. We can't predict who we'll become as mothers, but I do believe that motherhood makes us better people. xx

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    1. I loved your comment. It is so true. Motherhood does make us better people. Thanks so much for reading and commenting :)

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  24. I don't think anyone is fully prepared to be a parent whether its your first or fourth. Every baby is different and you can plan and prepare but it doesn't work out like you had planned once our little bundles arrive. They don't come with instructions so most of the time we just have to 'wing' it. great post - Thanks for linking up to Parenting - #ToddlersAndTeens via Mummy2Monkeys

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    1. haha thanks! I thought I was ready for my second but she was so different. Thanks so much for the comment :)

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